Day 4: Any early experiences that, in retrospect, hint at your kinks?
Yes, many earlier experiences hint at my kink. Now to narrow it down and talk about one….
I would have to say that would be my first experience at sex in public. I was 17, mind you, so I of course had no thoughts of what would happen if we were caught and the police were called to write both of us a ticket or arrest us for public indecency or the fact that we were at my first job and that I could lose it. No, all I thought of was what if we were caught and he got in trouble.
We went to a movie, U-turn with Jennifer Lopez in it; it was literally the worst movie I had ever seen (thank goodness I worked at the theater and so the tickets had been free). There was one other couple in the room sitting very close to the front. I was instructed to pick a seat in one of the back rows over in the corner. As the movie started and it was clear the quality of it, my mind started going like it always does….Did I finish that paper I have to turn in tomorrow, did I put the clothes from the wash into the dryer before I left, have I studied enough for my exam on Monday, and so on….I am not sure if he knew me well enough to see the wheels turning in my head or if he was simply bored enough with the movie and wanted to be entertained.
I remember I was wearing a dress because he loved easy access no matter what environment we were going to. He was always touching me in some manner, whether it was just holding my hand, rubbing my shoulder, or me leaning into him, the connection was always there.
He let go of my hand and placed it on my leg, leaning over he whispered “take off your panties and hand them to me.” My eyes immediately grew larger and I started looking around, I then turned to find him staring at me sternly waiting to see if I would argue. I knew that look, so I slowly ran my fingers into the sides of my string bikini panties, lifted myself ever so slightly, and slid my panties down and off my legs, bending over and handing them to him. He smiled, nodded, and placed them into his pocket. My heart was beating wildly and I was sure everyone in the theater could hear it, my breathing had picked up and it was not unnoticed by him. “Unclasp my button and touch me,” he whispered, feeling his breath on my neck and ear. Reaching over I did as I was told and felt how hard he was, smiling knowing this was going to be a scary but fun night. “Now, start touching yourself, show me how much you want this,” he said.
As I let go of him, I slid my long fingers into my core and knew I was already there, wanting this. I slid my hand that was closest to his and drew it over to me and under my skirt, showing him how ready I was. Smiling, he just nodded and pulled me over to kneel on the floor in front of him. “Now, Suck” he instructed in the firmest whisper. Placing him in my mouth I did as I was told. Pulling him out of my mouth, licking up the length of him over that vein that makes him growl every time, and sucking him back in my mouth until he touched the back of my throat.
“Enough, now slowly and quietly get up here and sit in my lap facing the screen.” As quietly as I could I leisurely came to rest on his lap. Pulling my legs apart to straddle him he guided himself inside of me, sliding in easily due to the wetness he has caused, both of us groaning quietly. I couldn’t believe I had gone this far; I was excited, nervous, and so turned on that I knew I wouldn’t stop no matter what happened. I began to move in slow, small motions so as not to attract the attention of the other couple. He placed his hands on my hips guiding the direction and pace of my movements. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a light, “Be still and lean back like you are just snuggling with me,” he whispered in my ear while pulling my dress down over us in the front. As I complied with his demand, a flashlight was shown our way and the usher nodded and continued to walk the length of the theater and back again, completing his nightly rounds. I don’t know if he recognized me as a worker there or just simply saw two lovers sitting closely together but I was relieved he didn’t ask me to take my own seat.
Once he was gone and we heard the door close behind us, we continued with our true purpose. Grabbing the arm handles of the chair I began to move with resolve. He again placed a hand on my hip to guide and direct me, while moving the other hand under my skirt and down to where we were joined. Gathering the wetness that was between my legs he brought it up to my clit and began rubbing small circles over my sensitive flesh. I leaned my head back and moaned, “Quiet,” he demanded, “or I will stop”. I nodded and began to feel the pressure building, needing to release, to ease the ache that felt like it was taking over my body and mind. After several more minutes of our secret touching, sliding, moving, and rubbing, we both came as quietly as we could. I remember lying back on his chest, my head leaning over his shoulder, panting and trying to wrap my mind around what had just happened. Both of us smiling and looking at each other, I glided myself up from him, straightened my dress, sat back in my chair, grinning at what he had pushed me to do and knowing I would remember that night forever.
“Fear, anxiety, arousal, and pain; all are emotions and sensations. They are neither right, nor are they wrong; good nor bad. They are simply passions, a most important part of life. Feel them, fully experience them, surrender to them, and learn to accept them. As a submissive, you must let go.”
― Nikki Sex